My hair is knotted, my eyes are filled with darkness, and my skin is scarred.
I have wounds in my chest, my way of thinking is odd, my heart is treacherous, and my mind is lost.
My feelings aren’t like butterflies, they are like lions, ravenous, and out of control .
I am often sad, I wish I could control it more, my heart is often in pain, my hopes are often fleeting, my soul is often empty, my eyes are often teary.
I know. ”
I wrote this during a tough time in my life, I was obviously feeling pretty distraught. I am personally against putting up a façade that you’re okay when you aren’t. I understand that it’s just how some people cope, it’s how I used to cope, but, when I did it, it never really did me any good. I would just push my emotions down, deep down, somewhere where I couldn’t see them and thought I would be able to forget about them. But, you see, that’s not how things work.
Everyone goes through tough times every so often and it is ok to not be ok. Don’t be like me, write it down in your journal and try to forget that it never happened. Talk about it. Talk about it with a close friend, a parent, a grandparent, or maybe even your favorite teacher or coworker. I know you might feel alone, like nobody would ever want to hear you cry and complain, but, I can guarantee you, that out of ALL of the people you know, there has to be at least one person that you can trust and that wants to hear about what you are feeling and going through. I’m quite sure there are probably more than that, but just for the sake of making a guarantee, I’ll stick with one. But, going back to the subject about “not being ok.” There’s no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed about not being in a happy mood ALL the time, it’s simply impossible. Talking to someone about it and doing some therapeutic activities on the side (art, writing, hiking, running, taking a bath, etc.) will definitely help you feel better. But, all things take time, don’t rush your emotions, don’t pretend like you are over something when you are not. You just have to wait it out, feel the feelings, don’t be afraid of them, climb to the top of a mountain if you have too, scream at the top of your lungs, because time, it truly heals all things, and administering care and love towards yourself along the way, will make the journey seem a lot shorter.